One of the businesses that I got involved in, for a couple of years, was the business of buying commercial properties and dividing them into small offices and renting them out. The business model was performing well, but I made my fortune in the property, not much from the shared office space idea. Anyways, one of our tenants at our shared office facilities, caught my attention, from day one. He was one of our most accommodating and understanding tenants even at times when we had glitches in our system. He was kind, warm, and welcoming. We had a mutually respectful relationship and an amazing experience doing business with him. The first instance when I met him, he made me comfortable around him. He is blessed to be admired by many in his circle of influence. We wanted to connect with him and learn as to what made him so approachable. He has a lot to offer and he is generous enough to share. We sat for a friendly conversation and as usual we kicked off on a very positive note. Our meeting was in early morning, so he started by saying: "we should all try to wake up positive." Following that positive vibe, he began to share the impact his family had on him. His upbringing was in an environment where moral, ethical, and human values were cherished. The love he received from his mom and siblings made him who he is today. His family values are at the core of his personality. One of the values that Mike Meehan kept on bringing up during our conversation was the concept of "acknowledging others." Mike is blessed and he was giving all the credit to his ability to acknowledge others, as he emphasized that: "everyone needs to be acknowledged." He is blessed because of his generous nature to see and acknowledge others.
As you might be aware that the concept of acknowledging and seeing others is at the core of a Co-Contributor's character. When we see others we can understand them and when we understand them we relate to them. When we relate to others it is the first step towards Co-Contributorship. Seeing others is a window into their world. In the world of business, at times we need to be acknowledged. We need others to understand us. We need others to know why we are doing what we are doing. In most scenarios, we feel lonely and that is where the value of Co-Contributor comes handy. Our Co-Contributor comes to our rescue to understand our mission. As Mike very beautifully put it: "as a sole proprietor we need to offload. Co-Contributing is about breaking the ice so that our fellow Co-Contributor feels comfortable enough to offload what they have in their mind and heart. Unless they share exactly what they want, we, as a Co-Contributor will not be in a position to help them out. Seeing and acknowledging others is the spark for building deeper relationships. As the sayings goes: "first impression is everything." In our case, first acknowledgment is the beginning of building a mutually contributing relationship. Only deep and genuine relationships can truly lift us up meaningfully. So, acknowledging is where we catch our fellow Co-Contributor's attention. I would like to end this writing by quoting Mike, which summarizes what we are trying to accomplish in our Co-Contributing relationships: "wake up in the morning trying to make other people's day bright."
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An opportunity was brought to me by one of my acquaintances. Despite the involvement of multiple stakeholders, we were able to strike a deal within a very short period of time. We were all happy and in a celebratory mood. As soon as the deal finalized, one problem after the other started coming up. The closer we were getting to the completion of the deal, the problems were growing. As the challenges were increasing so were our frustrations. We were all irritated to the extend that sometimes we were saying things that we might have not said in normal circumstances. Our level of frustration got to a point that we were trying to close the deal by whatever means we had in our possession, including taking legal action. In our exchange of unpleasant words, one of our key stakeholders, Gord Cowan, was at peace like a calm sea. He was not only not agitated, but rather he was patiently handling the situation. We might have expressed our frustration at him, at times, he was the person who was trying to calm down the situation. Without him the situation could have gone out of hand. He was our anchor. We were able to overcome our challenges and differences. We finally completed our transaction. Of course, the credit goes to Gord for making it happen. It was because of his patience that kept us all together and avoided the deal from falling apart. We all moved on and many moons later, I wanted to meet Gord. I respected his patience and being the mature person in the room at the time. I admired his personality and his character. We both met and we reconnected right away. We had a much meaningful conversation. We were both deeply engaged to the extend that we shared our personal situations and vulnerabilities. I am proud to call him my Co-Contributor. An opportunity was brought to me by one of my acquaintances. Despite the involvement of multiple stakeholders, we were able to strike a deal within a very short period of time. We were all happy and in a celebratory mood. As soon as the deal finalized, one problem after the other started coming up. The closer we were getting to the completion of the deal, the problems were growing. As the challenges were increasing so were our frustrations. We were all irritated to the extend that sometimes we were saying things that we might have not said in normal circumstances. Our level of frustration got to a point that we were trying to close the deal by whatever means we had in our possession, including taking legal action. In our exchange of unpleasant words, one of our key stakeholders, Gord Cowan, was at peace like a calm sea. He was not only not agitated, but rather he was patiently handling the situation. We might have expressed our frustration at him, at times, he was the person who was trying to calm down the situation. Without him the situation could have gone out of hand. He was our anchor. We were able to overcome our challenges and differences. We finally completed our transaction. Of course, the credit goes to Gord for making it happen. It was because of his patience that kept us all together and avoided the deal from falling apart. We all moved on and many moons later, I wanted to meet Gord. I respected his patience and being the mature person in the room at the time. I admired his personality and his character. We both met and we reconnected right away. We had a much meaningful conversation. We were both deeply engaged to the extend that we shared our personal situations and vulnerabilities. I am proud to call him my Co-Contributor. Patience is one of the best, if not the best, virtue to position ourselves as a Co-Contributor. Challenges come and go. What remains is our reaction to those challenges. In the spur of the moment, we might lose it and think that we had the right to do what we did. But in the long run, patience always shines brighter than anything else we could have said or done.
We usually justify our actions at the moment of roughness. And then, most of the time, if not all the time, we regret what we did when we were upset. At the very least, we wish we did nothing and just remained calm and collected. Of course, people of patience are not only calm and collected during an upheaval, but they play a role in calming others. They have the capability to manage their urges and stay in control of the situation. They use their gift of generosity to give what others might lack. By giving they fill the gap for others. Patience is one of the most powerful characteristics of a Co-Contributor. This trait may not be in all of us. For those of us that are more patient than others, we still need to keep an eye on ourselves and keep on practicing to be even more patient. We need to learn to manage our temperament. We need to learn to let go. We need to practice patience. It takes time, but it can be done. We have to remember that patience is the best way to position ourselves as a Co-Contributor. When people reflect on our relationships, our level of patience is one of the first things that comes to mind. As the saying goes: "people forget what you said... but people will never forget how you made them feel." Therefore, people are attracted to Co-Contributors with patience. People feel more comfortable in their presence. Others feel being themselves around them. As a result, people will have much deeper and more meaningful relationships with them. People with patience are like magnets. They attract people of principle. Entrepreneurs want to do business with them as they know patience is a key in making things happen. The opportunities are endless for them. So, what better way to position ourselves as a Co-Contributor than to choose patience as our virtue. During our first development project, our team was highly nervous. Even though my partner comes from a residential construction background, we were all anxious in every aspect of this new project. This was our first commercial real estate construction and development. We were putting together our team as we were doing the work. We had a steep learning curve. One of the areas that we were highly anxious about was our construction financing. We were not certain whether we will get approved or not, and even if we did, we were not sure if we could keep up with the requirements. The situation got into nerve-racking, considering that we borrowed from one of Canada's major financial institutions. We would like to believe that a miracle happened while working with a gentleman, named Bryceson Dodge, at the bank. Like any other bank representative, he helped us go through the process and the paperwork requirements. What made him a saviour for us was his commitment and willingness to go above and beyond. He took a sense of ownership in our project and our success. He literally led us by holding our hand and guiding it in the right place for the right reason at the right time. For instance, due to shortage of labour and our scheduling mismanagement, we had our structural steel prepared to be delivered, but we were not ready to receive it. On one hand, we were going to pay a very high stocking and storage fee and on the other hand, the steel manufacturer was demanding their payment. Our problem was that we were not eligible to receive the funds from the bank, as we were yet to install the steel on our ground. Long story short, our man at the bank, Bryceson, figured it out and we moved the steel to our grounds. Somehow the funds were processed and as a result we didn't have to pay the high fees. This was not only a big saving, specially considering for a new developer, but more importantly avoiding legal and financial headaches. This was one of, many examples of Bryceson going above and beyond which he didn't have to.
Of course, during our project we were delighted that he accommodated us, but we appreciated him even more after the project was completed. We worked with other financial institutions and we didn't have the same level of service. For that matter, we did business with the same bank, different people, but the experience was not the same. We realized that Bryceson was our man at the bank. It is not the organization, but rather the people in the organization that makes or breaks people's experiences. It is true that staff come and go and the institutions remain. It is equally true that each individual gives different experiences no matter how organized and systemized the institution is. It is the characteristics of personalities that define their level of commitment. It is the nature of people that transcends through the paperwork. People with contributing nature try to offer their best no matter where they are. It is in their DNA. They could be an employee or an entrepreneur. They position themselves so that they can offer the best they can. As a result, they connect and surround themselves with the best people possible. They are blessed to attract people that align with their values and principles. Keeping the best interest of others in mind is the ultimate way to position ourselves. This is how real connections are formed. This is how relationships are deepened. This is how we find our Co-Contributors. A person who goes above and beyond eventually lands on relationships that are meaningful and life changing. It might take time, but it definitely happens. A Co-Contributor contributes into someone else's life with full desire. There is no expectation. It is just out of a heart full of abundance. It is a sense of fulfilment that moves and motivates a Co-Contributor to keep on giving. It just happens that the universe works in some mysterious ways and a giving person receives back in multiple folds. It is just the nature of how the world works. It might sound naïve, but it is true. Co-Contributors just enjoy the journey of contributing into each others' projects. Nothing can replace the joy of a Co-Contributor seeing the success of his fellow Co-Contributor. A Co-Contributor is delighted if they know that they have moved a needle towards solving a problem, for a fellow Co-Contributor. The reward to receive anything in return is just a bonus, not a motivator. Contributing is the return! In 2003, I started my journey in the world of real estate and a couple of years later I was introduced to a mortgage broker. We started working on a few transactions together and as time went by our relationship evolved to a point that today she is one of my most valuable Co-Contributors. This mutually beneficial relationship continues to produce outstanding results for both of us to this date. Initially, when we met we had a very transactional mindset. Like any other two professionals working on a deal, we were both trying to protect our best interest. Naturally, we were both looking out for the best possible outcome for ourselves. This is very normal and expected in any professional environment. In fact, we are highly protective when we deal with a stranger in any relationship, for that matter. One day, when we were comparing our payout amounts, I realized that she did not get paid as much as she is supposed to. She deserved to be paid a bigger portion of our profits. I told her that you are getting a lot less than you deserve. She replied: "yes, I know, but we agreed and I am ok with it." I said no, this is not fair. She said: "I have thought many times to tell you, but this was according to what we agreed..." I told her: "of course agreements are not written on stone, we can change them anytime. In fact if they are not fair we should tear them." We made all adjustments accordingly, going back to the beginning of our relationship. She was happy and I was very happy. When things go where it belongs, the whole universe celebrates. This one generous gesture led to another and it kept on having a snowballing effect. The relationship evolved to much deeper trust and we both were trying to compete to be fair to each other. We made agreements, investments, and understandings, but when we were doing our numbers, we were both trying to be fair to one another. We were looking out for each other as much as we were looking for our own interest. We have been blessed and continue to receive the results of this relationship. This is the most profitable relationship that we know of. It has paid both of us very handsomely. In fact, we have received our return in multiple folds. This is the best that could have happened. This may sound naïve or this may sound a one-off type of a relationship. I can assure you that there are many relationships that are based on mutual respect, trust, and fairness. In fact, I know many of them personally. To be perfectly honest, the people who have enjoyed the results of this type of relationship knows that there is no better option out there. As Shakespeare says: "Corruption wins not more than honesty."
Giving above and beyond might not sound business savvy at the surface, but in reality it is the best possible option on the table. Short-sighted business people might gain quick wins, but generous relationships always come out handful at the end. The return on investing in trust is infinite. It keeps on giving back forever. The power of a trusted relationship is unbelievable. It can overcome any challenge. It is a glue that keeps the relationship sustainable. More importantly, when two people have a trusted relationship, they are literally one plus one equals eleven or perhaps more. No one can imagine, the amount of value we create by having a mutually trusted relationship. When we have a trusted relationship, we are highly productive. We concentrate on doing the actual work as the relationship is taken care of. Our resources, focus, and energy is spent on productivity instead of being distracted with handling the relationship. This in itself is a value creation that nothing can replace. It is a priceless contribution to our success. There is no doubt that as entrepreneurs we go through good, bad, and ugly in business. In our journey, through thick and thin, we need someone who we can share with. We need someone who we can lean on and get support from. We need someone who can guide us in our dark moments. Only a trusted person can do all this for us. We will not share, lean on, or seek guidance from someone who we do not trust. A relationship that is just for transactional purposes will never be relied on. The most confident of us needs someone to look at our work and give us a green light to go. We need feedback on our creativity. There are times that we need someone to brainstorm with us to help us in our decision making. We need someone to provoke us to solve an issue at hand. We do all of the above with someone who we have a deep relationship and deep relationships come from trusted relationships. Trust is the foundation of a Co-Contributor relationship. Mutual benefits arise from Co-Contributors trusting each other. Productivity levels are at its peak when relationships are solidified with mutual trust. Therefore, investing in trust is at the core of a CO-Contributor's mindset. A Co-Contributor doesn't look at a relationship as transactional. Relationships are built overtime by going above and beyond. Simple transactional mindset only looks out for immediate benefit. For a Co-Contributor the benefit is in the relationship itself. The result is in the journey, not necessarily getting the outcome. Mutually trusted Co-Contributors create mutual results for each other that are unimaginable. Trusted Co-Contributors are highly productive. Once they experience the world of mutually trusted relationships, they never go back. Nothing is comparable to trusted relationships. No amount of return could compare with the return on investing in building trust. In my early business days, I was involved with a group of young people. We were all trying to empower each other to have a better future. We wanted to bring a positive change in one another's life. In the process of helping others, we were changing ourselves. By trying to empower others, we were in fact contributing to our own life. Our engagement, with each other, helped to shift our mindset and impact the rest of our lives for good. In our circle, there was someone much younger than me who caught my attention. He was energetic, driven, and result-oriented. We got to know each other and we connected right away. He was dedicated, sincere, and focused on what we were working on. His attention to details and his dedication to the task on hand impressed me enough to find ways so that we can work together in ventures outside our social endeavors. Our relationship evolved to much deeper levels as we started working together. From the very beginning, he was taking ownership of the work right away. He would take the task seriously no matter how big or small. All he was aiming for was for the project to be successfully completed. He was not distracted. He was highly focused. He was going above and beyond. From the day I know him, this young person had a clear vision. He wanted to learn the ropes of business and build his future one step at a time. His roles and responsibilities has shifted ranging from admin to sales and everything in between. But his focus on what he wanted to achieve never shifted. Therefore, he always had a long term mindset in whatever he was involved in. To achieve what he wanted, he had to be open-minded. He did the job without the title. He was doing the actual work and leaving the credit for someone else. His character made him attractive like a magnet. As a result, opportunities kept on coming to him. Today, he is a successful entrepreneur working on much bigger projects. This is just the beginning and better things are waiting for him as he has a lot more to give to the world. Amongst my Co-Contributors, he is one of the most productive ones as he has so much knowledge, expertise, and experiences to share. There is so much that we mutually learn from each other whenever we get together. Now, after going what he went through, he can easily identity opportunities and have the capability to work on those opportunities. And the credit goes to him having a long term vision in mind. It took sometime but it happened. Patience is a virtue in business. We have a choice in business, we can go for short term gains or long term positioning. Opportunities arise when we position ourselves to be able to identify, seize and execute those opportunities. We establish our position by having a long term dedication and commitment. It doesn't happen overnight. It takes time. We have to work on ourselves to shift our mindset from short term shiny objects and distractions to long term vision and outcome.
We have to learn to believe that success takes time. We have to practice to be patient. Good things take time. Generally speaking, quick wins may not necessarily be good in the long run. It may satisfy us for that particular moment but we may face the consequences eventually. Instead of wasting our energy on fixing things for a short while, we can invest the same energy to work on positioning ourselves profoundly. All we have to do is to stay on the path and have a believe that good things take time and manage our expectations accordingly. We have to believe that instant outcomes are mostly quick fixes and that is why we will always be chasing. We can have a profound success as long as we choose to position ourselves for a long haul. Staying on a long term path is not easy as we naturally want immediate results. I would say it is very difficult, if not impossible, to do it alone. We need someone to support us, to empower us, to back us up. Someone who reminds us to believe in our vision and not to give up. The whole point of a Co-Contributor is to help us to stay on our path. We can easily get distracted by low-hanging shiny objects. It is these tricky moments that our Co-Contributor can come to our rescue as he is aware of our situation and our vision. We need a reminder and who else can be a better reminder than our Co-Contributor, someone who is looking out for our best interest. If we stay on our long term path eventually we will overcome our challenges, eventually things will start happening, and eventually we will get the results we are looking for. It is just a matter of time. We will overcome our objectives overtime. The main role of our Co-Contributor is to be there for us in this journey. They just remind us, support us, and empower us. We have to start, the process of positioning ourselves for long term, now. We have to decide to work on ourselves to plan for long term success. We have to start on shifting our mindset from quick wins to long term achievements. We can not wait. We can not delay this anymore. We can not look for excuses to just focus on short term and shiny gains. It has to start sometime and why not now? It has to start with someone, why not our Co-Contributor? My friends and I decided to meet our colleagues in another city. After a few hours of driving, we arrived at our destination in an office complex. We were delighted to see that our friends have prepared the space to welcome us. After initial greetings and meetings, we started having one to one conversations. Amongst many of the new members that I met, one person caught my attention. He was very nice, polite and appropriate. He came across very approachable. We had a brief interaction and a very short conversation. In the first instance, he made me feel comfortable having conversation with him even though we just met. Many moons later, he moved to our city and we started seeing each other more often. One thing led to another and our relationship evolved to much deeper levels. Today, he is one of my most important Co-Contributors. I can say that he has contributed in most, if not all, my business ventures. His contributions are invaluable. If it was not for that initial conversation, we might have not been where we are today. It was his approach to have a calm, collected, and relax conversation that made me feel comfortable around him. As a result, I looked forward to seeing him more often. So, when he moved to our city our relationship got deeper and more meaningful as time went by. Of course, our relationship have gone through ups and downs but we have stayed together through thick and thin. We have worked on ourselves to sustain this priceless relationship. We have mutually put our efforts to make our contributions valuable to each other. We could claim that the course of our businesses changed because of our productive relationship. It is quite crucial to be approachable. If people are not comfortable around us, they will abandon us. If we intimidate people at our initial meetings, they will try to avoid us. We might have the best of intentions but that doesn't count. What counts is if people are feeling safe, secure and serene around us.
When people start feeling comfortable around us they start opening up. They will try to come closer to us. They look forward meeting us more often. As a result, there is potential that we build a consistent connection with them. Even better, we might be able to take our relationship to much deeper levels. In today's age and time, deeper connections are the real currency. We have shallow relationships all over social media and even in our circle of influence. What gives value to our relationships are the ones that are deeper and more meaningful. If we are good at building deeper connections, our future is secured. The doors of opportunities open with deeper connections because deeper connections are based on mutual trust. It takes time to have deeper and more meaningful connections but the initial impression makes it possible. It is that first impression that helps to evolve the relationship to deeper levels. If we come across as intimidating in our initial meetups, it will close the door for future potential. So, we have to find ways to make people comfortable talking to us and approaching us. Making people comfortable around us is an art. It takes time to learn the traits of this art. There is no limit to learning the skills required to make people at ease around us. So, we are required to keep on practicing in the process while learning these skills. Different people feel at ease with us for different reasons and that is why it is an art not science. We have to learn as we go and the learning process is forever which makes it more enticing to be on this endless journey. Bottom line is that the more people are comfortable around us, the more people approach us. The more people approach us, the more potential Co-Contributors we will connect with. And the more Co-Contributors we have, the higher the chances of our success in every endeavor of our life. So, lets start making people feel comfortable around us and lets start this lifelong journey. After the 2008-2009 financial crisis, investing in US housing market was in trend. Everyone was talking about it. I didn't want to be left behind. Through a friend, I met someone in Tampa and we partnered to invest in Florida real estate market. We started with buying a couple of properties and my relationship with my US partner evolved to the extend that I received an email from him to lend him money for a short period of time. I was debating with myself whether to do it or not. One of my Co-Contributors told me not to but I didn't listen to her. I decided to help him out as I had a long term vision with this relationship.
Long story short, in the process of transferring money between the two countries, of US and Canada, I was defrauded for a very large amount of money. The worst part was that I borrowed that money just to help him out. I was devastated. The amount was big enough to shake my business at its core. It took me a while to recover from this loss. The moment I realized that I lost all the money, I was shaken and wanted to talk to someone. It is that moment that I needed someone who understands my pain and I wanted to share what I was going through. Someone who understood the gravity of the situation. Someone who appreciates the reason this happened. The first person that came to my mind was my Co-Contributor. I could have called my friends, family, or anyone else for that matter. But the first person I thought to call right away was my Co-Contributor. Why? Because my Co-Contributor was involved in every aspect of this transaction. She understood the reason I was doing this. But more importantly she understood the pain I was going through as she knew I borrowed this money to simply help. When we are in trouble, the first person we tend to call is the person who understands us. There might be people, in our life, who loves us and care what we go through. But we are inclined to call someone who understands our situation. We will likely talk to a person who can grasp the importance of the matter at hand. Who else could be better than our Co-Contributor. Our Co-Contributor understands our situation better than anyone else because they are involved throughout the decision-making process. They are aware of what is going on. In fact, they might have contributed to suggest doing what we have done. Now, that things did not go as we expected, they have a good picture of what is going on and therefore understand us better. Our Co-Contributor can comprehend as to what happened and why it happened. First of all, they might be able to help us to sort it out. But more importantly, the very least they do is that they understand us. At the moment of trouble, we simply want someone to know what is going on. We want to share with someone who gets it. And that is a big blessing in that moment. Mind you, when we say we call our Co-Contributor when we are in trouble, it is for a specific Co-Contributor who is involved in a specific matter. For example, if we have a family issue, we may not necessarily call our Co-Contributor. We call someone who knows the situation. So, we don't pick any Co-Contributor but the one that was engaged with us in that specific matter. Co-Contributors are our best asset at the time of difficulty. They can offer the best to us because they understand the situation better than anyone else as they were involved. As an entrepreneur, we will have many difficult situations, throughout our business, and we need someone to call and share. It help us to move on and not give up because of a dark moment. Simply knowing that someone else knows what we are going through is a big help. Who else could know our situation better than our Co-Contributor? In a business gathering, I came across a gentleman who I admired from the moment we met. After the networking event, we spent the rest of the evening together. He was talking about his life, his experiences, his believes, and his understanding of the world. We clicked at the first sight. Twenty years later he is still my friend. Throughout our relationship his life circumstances kept on changing and so did his opinion. When he was contributing to my undertakings, his suggestions would shift according to his life situations. Sometimes contradicting his past suggestions.
Despite this deficiency still he was and to this day remains one of my important Co-Contributors. His suggestions were one of the possible, amongst many, solutions to solving the issue on hand. He was not intentionally changing his mind but rather he was changing his suggestions as he was growing. He was offering his contributions as he was receiving new information, experiences, and having a better understanding of how things worked. If we appreciate our Co-Contributors the way they are, we cherish them and value their opinion. Each one of us have our own experiences that form the story that we tell ourselves. These stories shape our worldview. From our perspective our way is the right way in that particular moment. As time goes by, our story might shift and so does our suggestion to others. In fact, we all form our opinion based on our experiences. What we know, what information we have and what information was provided to us all play a role in shaping our opinion. Basically, how we were brought up and continue to be growing, impact our outlook. These experiences constantly shift and so does our suggestion to our Co-Contributors. We have to believe that everyone is right from their perspective. We all have our own way of looking at things. We have to learn that the stories we tell ourselves are different and therefore we contribute differently at different times. We are not an exception, we all change as we grow. As a receiver of suggestions from our Co-Contributor, we should value their suggestion as a contribution in that particular moment. Each one of us understand our own circumstances better. So, we should assess our Co-Contributor's suggestions according to our situation. Even better, it is much wiser to have more than one Co-Contributor so that we can compare and contrast their suggestions and accommodate according to our circumstances. At the inauguration of our business centre, I selected a few people to be awarded for their business excellence. One of the receivers was quite impressed with our organization. He called me after the event and we went for lunch. Our relationship evolved. We started investing in a couple of ventures together. He was bringing a lot to the table that I couldn't just by myself. He was complimenting my traits. Eventually, after travelling a few times together, we partnered. At the beginning of our partnership everything was going well. We were both happy. After all we were complementing each other. He was a very strong salesperson, which is the bloodline of a business, and I was spending most of my time systemizing our operation. They were both needed to succeed.
Everything was going well until one day I woke up and realized that most of the sales either did not go through or fell apart after the paperwork was signed. After digging in, we noticed that we had a fantastic sales volume with low closing ratio. Even after closing, we had people changing their mind and not happy with doing business with us. The main problem was overpromising. My partner was promising services that we were either not yet ready to provide or we didn't have the capacity or resources. For him, making the sales happen was the top priority. Delivering what he promised was not his concern. He was not worried as to what might happen after the sales. He simply believed that more sales mean more business. That is it. For me, delivering what we promised was more important as I believed in the benefits of long term reputation. This different style of doing business created a friction between the two of us. Traditionally, we have always been told to look for a complimentary partner; a person who compliments our traits, skills and talents. A complimentary business partner is also a complimentary personality. It means that individual has a different personality than us. They see the world differently from us. They have different set of values from us. As a result, they do business differently. The difference of opinion not only shows up in our business style but every aspect of conducting ourselves. This difference of behavior could lead to contradictions and sometimes could lead to conflicts. Partnership is a long term commitment and no one wants to be in a conflicting relationship. We definitely need a complimentary person to fill our shortcomings. Most of us, if not all, have a shortcoming that we can not overcome by ourselves. So, what could be the solution? How can we have our cake and eat it too? How can we have the benefits of a complimentary partnership without the luggage that comes with it. The solution is to change the term of our relationship. Instead of committing to each other, we go for an open relationship. The beauty of open relationship is that whenever we are full of each other, we can take break or part ways. When there is nothing tying us together, we tend to easily take breaks from our relationship whenever we feel like it. As a result, we are not in an "awkward" situation. Simply knowing that we have the option to take a break, in itself, is a release which helps to make the relationship work better. When we are not obligated, we tend to be attracted. Our Co-Contributor compliments our traits but at the same time there is nothing that obliges us to be together. We come together whenever we wish. At the core of this relationship is mutual benefit. We are looking out for each other to be successful. There are not many conflict of interest situations. If and when we are contradicting with each other, it is not because we have our own personal interest involved but rather it is because of the best interest of our Co-Contributor. We genuinely believe in what we propose. There is no personal interest and our Co-Contributor knows this. Knowing that our Co-Contributor has no interest calms us down even if we have a strong difference of opinion. Co-Contribution is the ultimate solution to partnerships. Amongst many other issues with partnering, having contradictory personalities is the biggest issue. On one hand, we need a complimentary partner to fulfill our shortcomings but on the other hand, complimentary means contradictory personalities. That is why most partnerships do not last that long. Co-Contribution takes care of this issue by bringing the complimenting value of our co-contributor and significantly limits the drawbacks of contradiction by keeping the relationship open and minimizes conflict of interest situations. One of my friends made it in business. He had all his wishes fulfilled except one. He wanted his son to join him in his business. To the contrary, his son was not ready for it. This issue was bothering my friend. In one of our casual walks, inside a shopping mall, we were talking about leaving a legacy for our children. Our conversation moved towards creating the right environment to inspire them to do business. Initially, we thought of getting them involved in our business but eventually we concluded to let them do what they wanted. Instead of convincing them, let them convince us to do business. We had no clear solution but we were moving in the right direction. We were brainstorming different issues on the same topic. Basically, we were solution-oriented instead of complaint-centric. As a result, new ideas kept on coming up in our conversation. After much back and forth, our conversation moved towards trying to understand our children's ambitions and aspirations. We agreed that we should let them propose a business to us instead of imposing our ideas to them. Our conversation centered around understanding what our children wants and what wakes them up in the morning. In order to understand our children better, we got my friend's son involved in our conversations. His son joined us in one of our breakfast meetings and during the meeting and while brainstorming he told us that he "loves construction." Whereas his father is in retail business. This was a golden prize for my friend. Within a couple of months, he came to an understanding with an established real estate development company. He acquired a land for development and got his son involved in the business.
As a Co-Contributor, we have to speak our fellow Co-Contributor's mind. We have to understand them and try to propose solutions based on their desires, ambitions, and aspirations; not ours. This gesture is purely out of the generosity of our heart, looking to contribute to our fellow Co-Contributor's solution. Speak their heart and mind without being obvious about it, seamlessly. |
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